अनकही

भाषा में गलतियों के लिए क्षमा कर दीजीये । 


माँ डाट रही थी, कुछ केह रही थी, कुछ पूछ रही थी,

लेकिन कुछ समझ नहीं आ रहा था, सुनाई दे रहा था, शोर था, 

लेकिन ना जाने क्यों ख़याल कहीं और थे, कहीं दूर,

वह फिर ज़ोर से चिल्लाई, लगा की अभ हमे कुछ कहना चहिए, कुछ भी

पर क्या केह्ते? परेशान होके वह चली गयी,

और हम अकेले सोचते रह गए। 



अगले दिन विद्यालय मे अध्यापक ने पूछा की किताब कहाँ है,

किताब घर पे थी और हम ने कहा की किताब घर पे है,

उन्होंने पूछा किताब घर पे क्याँ कर रही है,

अपनी मासूमियत मे हम ने कहा की हम किताब भूल गए, 

उन्होंने लकड़ी का फटा निकाला और ज़ोर से हाथ पर मारा,

हम सेहम गए, डर गए, हाथ लाल हो गया था – किताब ही तो भूले थे। 



गणित के कुछ प्रशन कर रहे थे ट्यूशन मे,

नंबर आ रहे थे उल्टे सीधे, बड़े छोटे, लंबे चौड़े,

दोस्त कहता है –“अरे यह क्या उल्टा लिख रहा है”

हम ने उसकी कॉपी देखी और फिर बोले “अरे सही तो लिखा है”

उसके बाद ध्यान नहीं दिया, क्योंकि दिमाग़ मे तो एक दो टीन 

चार पाँच छह सात आठ नौ दस ग्यारह बारह तेरह चल रहा था। 



फिर नाजाने एक दिन सिनेमा हॉल से आने के बाद माँ हमारे कमरे मे आई,

और ज़ोर से हमे गले से लगा लिया, शायद रो रही थी वह, मायूस थी वह;

कहा की उन्हे माफ कर दे; हमे कुछ समझ नहीं आ रहा था; क्या हो रहा था यह;

सालो बाद पता चला उस दिन निकली थी आमिर जी की पिक्चर;

और उन्हे पता चला था की हम हैं एक तारा ज़मीन पर। 






गाना :  सानू एक पल चैन -- नुसरत फ़तेह अली ख़ान


धन्यवाद : गूगल और क़ुइलपाड 

The Stickman

They are the coolest drawings. Also the only ones I can make with ease. I still have trouble with the female version, especially the hair. Bah!

This is an awesome song and deserves an awesome video.

Thank you to :

Regina for the song. Don't sue me for copyrights!

Sketch Paint Draw App for letting me draw on my damn cool phone.

DvdVideosoft, Freemake Video Converter, Powerpoint and Windows Movie Maker for the software.

Hope you like it. Give me the strength and time that I am able to complete it!

To the good times Us had :)

Andaaz Apna Apna

I never thought I would do these things.


1. Tattoo

Yes - I got a tattoo. Don't worry it's not permanent. I never thought I'd get Shin Chan tattooed, but impulse took the better of me. And I think it's somewhat fitting. If Shin Chan was real, he too would have to apologise to the gender forum at some point. I think I'll get a permanent tattoo if and when I complete writing a book. We'll worry about the design then!

2. Flash Mob

When it comes to dancing I have two left feet. Ask any of my friends and they will swear that Rohan can't dance. But I never let that come in the way. Even so, never thought I'd be a part of a flash mob. We danced to Gangnam style and that was pretty cool. I danced horribly but I felt really awesome anyway!


3. Stand-Up Comedy

In a certain email to Vasudha, I had once remarked that stand-up comedy is very tough and that you never know if they audience will laugh or not. And I now speak with confidence and first hand experience that it is tough as hell. I still can't believe I did stand-up comedy, even if it was for 5 mins. Debating is fine,  humour is difficult. Most of my jokes were from this video (2:44 onward):

And that's is just the top 3 things. I loved stand up and I will try very hard to better it. I like 2013.

You should also try something new, unfamiliar. Surprise yourself. 

To Roan - so crazy and mental.

Song : 
Hookah Bar -- Khiladi 786
Love You -- Free Design 

To Animals. They have some rights.


Song : Phir Se Ud Chala -- Rockstar




"Have it with salt Nani, you'll like it," he said.


"Salt, where is it? I don't see it. It's not here," she said while moving her hand across the white plate to feel any granular substance.


"It's here Grandma," he said pointing at the spot where the salt was.


She bent forward and looked carefully. She then touched the spot and was convinced that it was indeed salt. She took some of it and applied it on the covering of the orange fruit segments that she had just peeled. She then popped one into her mouth.


"Have it. Come on quick," she said to her grandson, almost hitting the plate to his chest. There was a sense of a hurry in her tone, even though in reality there was no hurry at all.


"I have had three of these," he said, adjusting himself such that the sunlight wouldn't hit his eyes directly.


Just then two cats meowed. They were right in front of them. While the humans relaxed in the veranda, the cats splurged themselves on the smooth grass in the mild winter heat. The younger of the cats, moved behind the elder one, slowly and carefully; perhaps scared of the other animals.


"Look at them, sitting over there," Nani pointed out.


He looked carefully at the beautiful creatures. They weren't the best of cats, he thought. They were wild, dirty and dull, not even comparable to magnificent Golden Cats of Egypt or the white snowballs of the movies. But something about them was fascinating. He admired their movement, their style, their presence and most importantly the fact that they had a life, that they were real and living, in a world of their own.


He had always wanted to pet a Cat, but was never able to. They were supposed to be unfaithful, unlucky and unworthy of petting. He remembered the many stories his mother had told him, when she had pet a wild cat. How she would steal milk and feed it to the cat. How the cat would come everyday at the same time. How she gave birth to babies. How she would come under the blanket during the winter and eventually tear the blanket. And of course like all cat stories, how she drank the milk from the kitchen, without asking. He thought that this disobedience and desirous attitude, is probably why he was never allowed to pet a cat.


He now recalled the most favourite part of the story. It was the story after the betrayal. Most Cats are banished after they commit the sin. They are denied food and are scared away. The arrogant animals that they are, they go away and look for some other human to fool. But this one cat, after months of exile returned. His mother would tell him, that when the Cat returned she was ill and thin and uglier than ever. And the mother filled with compassion, gave her lots and lots of milk. He couldn't remember what happened after this. Perhaps, his mother grew up.


Suddenly the Gradmother got up and started collecting the orange peels. And immediately then the cat jumped and crossed the wall. In a flash of second, the elder cat was gone. The younger one hid behind one of the garden pots, unable to jump that high.


"Look how she jumps. Ram ki Leela ko dekh," the grandmother said with a huge smile.


He looked and smiled.


His phone started ringing loudly, disturbing the peace of the moment.


"Where is this sound coming from?" his grandmother asked.


He looked at the phone and sighed. It read :


"Mock CAT 2:30pm"


Cat. Billi.

CAT. Common Aptitude Test.

Wish me luck?

Khwab Jo.

To Ahana Datta, for all your freaky dreams.

Song : Illusion and Dream by Poets of the Fall.

For the millionth time that day, he pressed a random key on his QWERTY phone so that the light would glow and he'd be able to see the time. It was 3:47 AM. He wanted to sleep. It'd been 5 hours since he'd been wracking his brains with T-shaped Accounts and Balance Sheets. The Mind wanted to rest. But then again, he had to study, exams were around.

I'll get a 6 hour sleep and wake up at 10, he thought. He set the Alarm on his fancy phone. Of course, waking up to your own alarm is the last thing people would trust themselves with.

So, he messaged his friend, Ganesh :

"Wake me up at 10, if you're up at 10."

And then he wished his girlfriend Good Night, plugged in his earphones, heard Illusion and Dream and finally slept like a baby.

*

He rubbed his eyes. Opened one of them and saw a tall figure standing.

The figure yelled, "Tell me the relation between peace and freedom! Now!"

"With silence comes peace, with peace comes freedom, with freedom comes silence," he said and went back to sleep.

Sometime later, he woke up again and checked his phone.

"4 New Text Messages"

He checked them. 3 forwards from some random person. Why would people send ridiculous fowards in the morning, he thought.

The last text read :

"Sorry, couldn't wake you up, woke up myself at 10:47. Just saw text."

It was from Gannu. He didn't bother. He didn't really expect Ganesh to wake him up, anyway. He fell asleep again.

Some more time later, he finally woke up, with sleep still hovering under his eyes. He saw that his phone still had unread text messages. He checked them. MBA-Universe and what not.

Just then, his phone vibrated.

"Gannu :) calling"

H : Kaminey kahi ke.

G : Kyun?!

H : Uthaya nahi na tune

G : Utha toh raha hoon. Get up chal, sissy.

H : Uth raha hoon

G : Acha bye, I have to sleep. (sleepy tone)

H : Khud soo le, saale. Bye (funny tone)

He then returned to his Inbox.

He looked for Ganesh's earlier message. He kept scrolling down. He went past the MBA ones, the forwarded ones and then he found the Good Night Ones. He was puzzled. He checked the other folders. No where.

Confused, he locked his phone and got out of his bed to do the morning things. He turned around and then like always, punched a random key on his phone to check the time.

9:47 AM.

There is a Tide in the Affairs of Men.

To William Shakespeare. Happy Birthday. I don't know if it's today or it's three days later but all I know is that this blog is named after you and this post is dedicated to you; if not on your birthday, then on your death anniversary. Born and died on the same day, Cool eh? So either way I am right and I love this quote of yours. So here I am explaining your wonderful lines to the world and dedicating them to you. To Shakes.

There is a tide in the affairs of men.
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our ventures.

Ok. These lines are from the play Julius Caesar. Brutus says the lines before the war, as he goes on to talk about Opportunity and Chance. The explaination might just get repetitive and on your nerves.

The Tide in the first line refers to the Chance we receive in our lives, in our affairs of love, work, family and in all that we do. Like the ships at the port wait for the tide to be right so that they can continue their adventures of the boundless sea; similarly there await many tides in our lives which promise us much more than what we can imagine or dream of.

And if traveled during the right tide, we gain the immense fortune of learning so much; grabbing the right opportunity also gives us the possibility of earning the fortune of experience. We don't know what these many possibilities hold for us, but it is only after we try them that we know. Opportunity indeed only comes once.

The only difference between tide and opportunity probably is that, tide comes again and again but opportunity might never ever return. Thus, if omitted ever in life, one is bound to suffer. To miss a target is ok, but to never have explored the possibility of archery, especially if it was on your journey, is nothing but a fool's act. You might always wonder where that tide might have taken us.

Shaky goes on to say that our lives are full of such opportunities that can change us forever. Whether it's a chance to say sorry or a moment of realisation or anything else. Don't think too much. The weather is good, the tide is good, just start your voyage. Like the ships take the current when it's good for 'em, so must we use the varied paths in our lives.

What we plan and what we want is only a manifestation of our mind. That can only be brought to reality when we work towards it and we find the right chances on our way. I don't know about destiny or luck or if you really really want something everything else will fall in place; but if you have something in your way that you think you really want, then grab it for that can only truly fulfill thy venture. And if we lose it, then we lose it forever.

On a lighter note...

There is a tide in the affairs of men. Sometime back came my tide and I started to blog. Then the Internship with Viewspaper. Then a few followers, though I am often tempted to post on Facebook for more readership. And a lot more came....Today I am happy with my blog, with whatever it is. Thanks to the tide that came my way. To get your tide just don't call God but look around. Our website is www.help-my-brain-that-cant-find-opportunities.com. Order now! Grab now! Toll Free!


Thanks Shakespeare. Thanks Readers. Thanks.

Yet Another one of Rohan Ki Kahaniya....

Marginal Propensity to Consume is the slope of the Consumption Function. Differentiate it and you will get what you want. And the Consumption curve is a straight line. Hence the slope is same at all points. MPC is constant. The Multiplier’s proof lies in the sum of infinite terms of a Geometric Progression. The 45 degree line is significant in equilibrium determination. It all indeed connects. All of it has meaning. All of it has sense. There is Logic. It’s beautiful. It’s orgasmic.

Economics was always my favourite. Finding the best way out is what I’ll define it as. Closely intervened with Mathematics, Sociology, Consumer and Producer Psychology, Geography and all of that. Closely intervened with our lives, our money, our country and our identities. I love it. I love it beyond measure.

But parts of Economics make me sick. One of them is Money and Banking. And in my endevour to learn the many types of deposits and the evolution of money and the drawbacks of barter system, I did something great. Something I am proud of. I fell asleep.

And it was then that the following questions came to my mind, which I try and answer myself. This is not conversations with God. This is not Me against Me. This is just the result of economic stress. And sometimes stress produces something beautiful. And maybe this is beautiful. Just to make this un-weird, there is a setup. A different environment. Here Goes:

The following piece is dedicated to everyone who is trying to make sense out of their lives. The song for the post would be Life in Technicolor II by Coldplay.

Once upon a time there was a good boy called Chester. He was in a weird place and this story is about him.

“God, it’s a dark alley,” said Chester to himself.

He walked on. There were no holes, so he didn’t fall into a pit or something. He didn’t bump into a wall or someone else. It was a dark, straight, flat and empty alley. After a while Chester realized that this alley might never end. This scared him.

And then out of the blue, more like black, a bulb hung in front of him. Due to the new found light, Chester saw the writing on the wall. He instantly recognized it.

“As above, so below; As within, so without.”

“The Emerald Tablet. I read it in the Alchemist,” he said that to himself.

And then almost magically, the wall spilt open. Seeing the new wonder, Chester entered. Chester started to look around. He didn’t find anything great to look at. However inside there was a piano. He always wanted to play the piano. It looked so classy, so wonderful, so English and oh so hot.

And then almost suddenly the piano began to play. Chester recognized the music instantly. Death will never conquer by Coldplay. entered.

He turned around and was shocked to death. There it was Chris Martin, the Coldplay’s lead singer playing the piano.

“Oh My God. It’s you!” he almost yelled.

“Shshshsh…” hushed Chris and continued playing.

Coldplay was his favourite band. They made such beautiful music. Chris finished playing. He then looked up at Chester.

“So dude, how’re you?” he asked.

“I am good. Where are we?”

“Doesn’t matter. I am here because you have answers to find.”

“And you will help me?”

“Yes.”

“How freaking cool is that.”

Chris smiled.

“So what has been bothering you so much?” he asked Chester.

“Fear. Fear of all sorts. Fear of losing. Fear of driving. Fear of not being what I want to be,” Chester explained.

“All you have to fear is fear itself,” replied Chris.

“What are you William Douglas?” mocked Chester.

“Not really. But fear helps you grow. It helps you. I feared many things. I still do. I fear I might give you wrong advice. And it is in fear that you are extra cautious and hence you do your best. Simple logic.”

“But fear makes me scared. Scared that I will mess it all up. A sick feeling that makes me give up. Fear kills my spirit of trying, my faith in the world,” explained Chester.

“Don’t worry so much. You’re young, commit your mistakes.”

“What if I lose? Failure isn’t all that of a great feeling,” moaned Chester.

“Just because I am loosing, doesn’t mean I am lost. Doesn’t mean I’ll stop, “sang Chris.

“Now the answers to my questions lie in your songs. I like Lost+ more than Lost, you know. Can I call you Chris?”

“Sure you can. There are answers everywhere. All you need to do is look.”

“That makes you sound Gay, you know.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. You’re still not clean in the head.”

“Yes, Mind reader. I am very confused. I mean why trouble troubles me always. Why ME? Why not you?”

“Trouble will come. Trouble will go. But you’ll go on forever,” said Marty almost laughing.

“What? That’s a direct lift from a poem. God. I thought this was going to be cool. Why can’t we run away from everything? Just escape.”

“Kill yourself. Hide yourself. No one stops you. No one will mourn you for forever.”

“So Chris Martin, Coldplay member is officially an advocate of Suicide.”

“No. I believe that if there is an easy and legal way of doing something you do it that way. Suicide I think is illegal. All I mean is, if there is something that causes you pain, misery, unhappiness, then cut it off. It maybe your dream, your hope, your friend or your mind. Just cut it off. End it. Finish it. There is nothing that can cause you trouble. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. That’s what Eleanor said.”

“The Sermon-ator does make sense.”

“Listen buddy. Life is crap. It hurts. Everybody hurts. We are nothing but another brick in the wall of the world. But some bricks have the establishment on them. Be that one. You can and you will. Just don’t fear.”

“When will I die?” asked Chester.

“Take a Facebook quiz. Go to Death Clock. I don’t know. I am not Yamraj[1]. Just before you die, don’t cultivate regrets. Whatever you did in your life, were a product of your decisions and your actions. Be proud of it.”

“I am impressed, you know Hindu Deities. Regret. It kills. Do you really think that what we want to do, we ought to do?”

“I think that is the only thing you should do. As I said before, as long as it’s easy and legal.”

“Right. I really love your music. Thanks for it.”

“Thanks for listening to it.”

“Do you pity me?”

“I pity those who don’t live to the fullest.”

“Is this a dream? You sound Dumbeldore-ish.”

“That, that is, is.”

“Shakespeare, finally. I love him too.”

Chris smiled. “Anything else Chester?”

“Sing a song for me?”

“Not now. Buy a CD. Ares eats my money,” joked Chris.

“Ok. Will do,” smiled Chester.

“So I hope I never meet you again?” asked Chris.

“I hope I do. My best friend is such an ass. Good for nothing. Keeps on blabbering something like ‘as you wish’.”

“Ahh…Need to be Dumbeldore for her too eh?”

“Naa…I think she’ll need some one like John Nash.”

“Whokay. But I am your Godfather.”

“Well, if I had a middle name, it would be Chris. Chester Chris Chawla. And if I need a Best Man, I’ll call you. What a starry wedding that would be.”

“Right. Definitely. And the forces of nature tell me, you’ll all do fabulous. You’ll all leave your mark. Just hold on. And always believe.”

“Ok. TOO much SERMON. See you on You Tube.”

And then he disappeared. It was almost like a fairy tale. He had learned so much. It felt like a better world altogether. It was so amazing. So beautiful. So magical. And oh so Cool.

Chester also found his way out of the alley into the daylight of the new world. He then went to his posh school. And there he met his classmate. They had many things in common. Many things different. But there was one thing he always wanted to tell him and he gathered courage and went ahead.

“Chester,” said Chester to his classmate.

“Yup, dude,” replied the classmate.

“I always wanted to say these three words to you. They mean a lot to me. I have buried my feelings in me for too long and I must express them now, for I want to cultivate no regrets. I know you don’t feel the same way as I do, but I must pour my heart out to you. The three magic words, that might alter everything, Chal Be Bhangi![2]”

And like Cinderella he ran away. He was super joyous. He was elated and he ran and ran and ran. And then they became sworn enemies. And Chester kept meeting Chris. And all was well. And like every fairy tale, everyone lived happily ever after, even The Bhangi, ;)

The End

[1] Hindu deity of Death.

[2] Bhangi is an Indian Caste, often referred to as untouchables. However, in daily language, a Bhangi is one who’s ill mannered and can be associated with the English counterpart of loser or bugger.

Untitled

I stared at the numbers. I was unable to comprehend their meaning and how they were computed. Accountancy is a logical subject with only two broad components Debit or Credit. My tutor went on and on to explain the class what was going on and I kept sitting there blankly. That was largely because of two reasons, my two nostrils kept draining mucus and nosy (Indianized version of mucus) and also that I didn’t posses a napkin. I looked left and then right, no one was looking at me, not even my partner. Sir turned his back to the class and wrote on the board. The moment was perfect. I squeezed my nose, collected the mucus and rubbed it off on my pants. Relief and disgust. I hate my nose, my life and the horrid Air conditioner that was making matters worse.

Thankfully the class got over. One and a half hours of complete pain and suffering. The world conspires to trouble me. I got out of the tuition center and looked around. It was all messy and humid. It had rained heavily and it was still drizzling. I went towards the main road repeating in my mind how I hated to study so much; how some weird test was coming near; how my Sunday was going to get ruined finishing some exercise from some hefty math book. I looked around. Everyone was smiling and happy. They were armed with heavy cash and equipped with shopping bags. If only I was rich and influential, life would be so easy.

I went to the Auto Stand to hail one so that I could return home. I spoke to the driver.

“Model Town”

“Pain-tees rupiye” he replied. (Thirty-Five rupees)

“Pachis thek hain bhaiya. Rooz tution aata jaata hoon” (Twenty-five is fine. I come for tuition everyday.)

He shook his head. Bad luck is stuck to me, I thought. I kept walking drenching myself in the rain that had begun to intensify. Why does this always happen to me? Why me? I continued in the endless search for an ideal auto. I was now at the red light. I had by now stopped three drivers, but all in vain. Finally I ran across to the other side of the road and asked another one. The same questions repeated.

“Chaliye.” (Let’s go) said the Generous auto driver. Finally my ass got some rest. The benches of the tuition center aren’t very great you see.

“I was looking at these shops. My daughter’s birthday is on the 12^th. I was wondering what to gift her,” said the auto-wallah (auto-owner).

Oh Crap! When all the things are starting to look good, something spoils everything. Talkative drivers- a complete pet peeve. Why cant they just do their job and be done away with it? Why do they have to share their views, opinions and ideas with a complete stranger? Firstly I am slightly hard of hearing, secondly there is so much noise in the auto and finally I don’t care to listen to what they are speaking and comprehend and reply accordingly. Since I heard him, I had to reply.

“Ok.”

The signal changed. Thank God. Now he would keep quiet.

“So in what college are you in?” asked the gossip king.

“ I am in 12^th,” I replied disinteresting-ly.

“Acha. So what stream do you have?” he asked.

What does he know about streams?

“I have commerce.”

“Ok. Good Good. But nowadays the science people are in demand. They earn handsomely.”

“Ya. But you have to study a lot and besides I didn’t ever get science,” I tried to defend the commerce community and my choice.

“Maybe.”

He then went on to narrate an incident, which involved dropping a science student for an entrance exam in heavy rains like these. I didn’t get most of it so I omit writing it here. Let’s narrate the good part.

“Okay,” I said after he said something.

“You should have taken science. People like you should become doctors,” he said.

“Aisa Kyun?” I asked why so?

“You would look nice as a doctor. You are so handsome and beautiful. Smart people like you end up as fantastic doctors. You are definitely of the likes of a doctor.”

I burst out laughing. I had never heard such a thing. He started laughing too. The laughter subsided but the effect lasted long.

“So what do you plan to do after college?” he asked curiously.

“I’ll study at DU,” I told him.

“You’ll have to study a lot.” God this guy knows a lot.

We were just about to reach my home and he said, “I just paid my Auto installment.” He took out a yellow paper and I saw it from my seat.

In my lane there is a huge banner of Sri Sai Baba. Who put it up I don’t know but it was regarding some event organized in his name. Seeing it he said, “There is increasing belief in Sai Baba these days. At an event, I saw a hallucination that I saw him. I told a friend of mine and he said that it was fantastic that I had seen Sri Sai Baba.” Sakshat Darshan- meeting the God.

I smiled. He couldn’t see it but I guess he knew I was. I told him to stop in front of my house. I paid him and said Thanks. He thanked me as well.

This was one of my best auto rides. I can’t believe I would be so engrossed in a conversation and then transform it into a blog entry as well. But I guess that since so many people are part of our lives and we of so many, that even a small meeting can bring a great effect. If I am not mistaken, differentiation is all about this only.

As I was entering home, I was smiling a lot, more than usual. But as I said, I hate my life and among good things come bad ones; a negative thought crossed my mind. Did the driver trick me into all this, that in my happiness I would give him extra money? Did he try to fool me? I might sound insecure, but I don’t know. I brushed that thought away. I am now of the view that my life is horrible but it has it’s own “great smile” moments. Doesn’t everyone’s life have these? What am I fussing about?

With or Without You

Heya..

I wrote the following story for a competition organized by theviewspaper
I did not win but they appreciated my work and posted my entry on their website. Thanks Viewspaper. The following is the link to my story.

With or Without You