For most people, it is. They don't know it, they don't accept it and the worst is that they don't realize it. I am not accusing anyone. I am not saying sex is a bad thing. But it's not the only thing in life.
Lets look at the things that are sexed up in our lives. The most amusing jokes are about sex (F.R.I.E.N.D.S. mostly revolved around the sexual and romantic lives of the characters). The most effective abuses are about sex with your own mother/sister. The culmination of any relationship is the act of sex (From Child Abuse to the First Night--Suhaagraat). People have sex in airplanes, bathrooms, on the floor, standing, sitting etc. We have a huge industry that caters just to sex--Prostitution, Pornography, Sex Toys, Contraceptives, NGOs for Pro Life and Pro Choice etc. We have spared no one. We are having sex. Animals are having sex (with themselves and in some cases, with us). Even, children are having sex (again, sometimes with themselves and in some cases, with us grown ups). Young People are having sex, sometimes by choice and sometimes by force, and sometimes it just happens. Men are masturbating (some strong boys claiming to as much as 14 times a day). Women are masturbating. Everyone is Sexing.
So what about Sex makes it so fundamental to our lives, that not one day goes by that we don't think of Sex. Most people assume that Sex is a need. That the body needs this sort of pleasure and that it demands it. Fair Enough. The body produces hormones (My biology isn't the best, but I think hormones are responses to Stimulus. And the same stimulus can have different reactions from different people. Thus there is nothing that can be universally sexual.) Now if Sex were a need, like food, water and love, if one were denied it, one would die or lead a pathetically miserable life of disgust and no human dignity. Many people claim that they are celibate and it is not my business to spy their lives, which don't look so devoid of dignity, to see if they are truly celibate. So if there is no example of whether or not one would die if one did not have sex, I urge you to experiment it in your life. Start with a week, and see how dire a need it is.
Lets look at it from another perspective. If our bodies were meant to enjoy sex or had sex has a need, it must then would have evolved into something that would facilitate the same. I am not saying "God willed it this way!", I am just saying what Darwin said (Again, Biology could be bad!) Nothing within/of the body allows us to have sex and not start the baby process. Condoms, contraception, surgeries etc are all external things that allow us to have "stress free" sex. Now the fallacy in this argument is that, we should stop taking all sorts of medicines because they are external, and if our bodies are meant to tackle a disease, only then will we truly "deserve" to live. Of course, this does not happen. Also, there is nothing to say that we won't evolve into "free sex creatures".
But what about other animals? Is Sex such an issue only with Humans, because of our ability to think or do animals see Sex as a pleasure too? Animals don't have contraception, so whenever they do it, they create babies. And animals have long "dry" periods, because their bodies have reproduction constraints. So they mate far lesser than humans do.
I think what I have been trying to say is that, sex is a "need" created by the mind, and not necessarily a bodily need. There could be an urge to procreate and have babies (that I think is also arguable), but not an urge to have sex. Look at all our problems. Obesity--Too Much Food. Addictions--Too much bad stuff. Shopping--Too Much Acquisition. Greed, profit, wastage. The list is endless. All of this, is a product of the mind--reckless mind.
Coming back, so what will happen if we de-sex our lives? Will we be happier? Will we channelize our energies towards better things? I think yes. The reason why most spiritual guides talk about the abstinence from sex, is because it is indeed the hardest. Through out this article, I have not been able to prove whether or not sex is a need, and that's how close it comes to becoming a need. Imagine being able to control that. Imagine having full control over a pseudo-need. If you can do that, you can control anything that is not a need. You are then not dependent on anything. Moksha.
But why do we sex it all up in the first place? Even the two great epics are full of sex and scandal--the public humiliation of Draupadi to the banishment of Sita. It's simple. It feels good. It is like any other sort of addiction.
But you would say--What about the Kamasutra-that's a guide to sex? Look carefully. It's Yoga. It's probably meant to deter you from having sex.
It's all about the sex.
