4 November 2012

Boys Keep Swinging

This post has a fictional prologue, which you may want to read here : http://rohan-chawla.blogspot.in/2012/11/from-me-to-you.html?m=1

Apologies first for making you travel between blogs. This is the first time I have made an inter-blog connection. But the reason is simple. The post had two distinct parts - the fictional and the critical, and it would've been exceptionally long if it were clubbed into one.

Now for my thoughts. I don't know if you noticed, but that love filled letter was from Carol to Susan (No originality, I know). It was between a homosexual couple. The reason why I wrote that was because I felt that there is something wrong in the way we perceive the world. I don't know if it is just me, but if I read a love letter that was addressed to Susan, I would think automatically that her lover is a guy and its his wonderful words that are written there.

Disclaimer : Please note that this post has been written under the premise that homosexuality is okay and acceptable. If you have an issue with that, this is not the post you are looking for.

So many times I have been asked, if I have a girl-friend. I don't have a problem with that question, because my life is an open blog, which a few people read. But my problem is that you completely ignore the possibility of me being a homosexual. You would now say, that sometimes people ask the wrong question (they might ask you what your parents do, but what if you are an orphan); so this whole thing is just making a mountain out of a molehill. The issue is not of the wrong question. You assumed that I had a partner, that's fine. But after that you made a second assumption. The more accepted one - that my partner is a woman.

But the bias is worse in certain cases. While the former mistake is made under the assumption that you are straight (and not "crooked"?), sometimes you're assumed to be gay. And that assumption is based on your voice (shriek-y or hoarse), the way you dress (colourful or plain), what you decide to talk about (gossip or politics), your nature (kind or indifferent) and what you like to do (blog or wrestle). There are no behavioural characteristics of being a homosexual. Neil Harris from How I Met Your Mother is homosexual. Jane Lynch from Glee is homosexual. Faces don't have homo written on them.

But the worst bias comes when you stand up for homosexual rights. If you support gay rights, then you are definitely gay. If you are homophobic, then you are a closet homosexual. Heads you win, Tails you win. Some of us after reading this post, will think at least once if the author is a homosexual or not? That's probably the greatest reason why heterosexuals don't fully support homosexuals; they don't want to be thought of as homosexual, as if they are one of "them".

And that is the real tragedy. That somehow being gay is something to be ashamed of. That if someone thought you were gay, it was in someway a bad thing. Like it was an insult thrown at you. Something that you had to defend and clear up for. That being homosexual was just not acceptable. All this, despite the fact that you're well read, that homosexuality is no longer a crime and that more and more people around you are coming out of the closet.

I think I need to calm down. So here is the peaceful part of me. Times are changing and we need to pause for a while, and think how we see this world. Do we see it from our eyes, from our parents eyes, from the society's eyes? Why do we judge people and what criteria do we use? Are we fair in our approach? Do we just say things in jest but believe them sub-consciously?

When you see someone who is different - by race, by gender, by built, by sexuality, by name, by thoughts, by speech, by faith - do you get repulsed? Do you change in someway? And, is that change for the better? Is it the right thing to do?

Are we one people deserving one treatment?

Since my life is an open blog, I'll start the answering. I'm not too sure how liberal I am to people's choices, but I believe that people are indeed not very smart but they aren't always sheep either. They have reasons for what they do, even if it takes them time to find those reasons. And I think I am no one to question them, as long as they have a reason. Think before you act.

We are one people. I hope we can give ourselves one treatment.

Thank you for listening.

Here listen to this wonderful song and cheer up (first time on Jibber Jabber) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWzeInQaUk4

Thank you Bowie for the wonderful title.


Anonymous said...

rohan! rohan! rohan!

the most significant and the most conspicuous characteristic of a closet gay is to speak a lot on homosexuality and try defending(?) it by playing safe- the straight insulation.

You are a CLOSET GAY.

come out! come out!come out!
chotashakespeare, advice from chotafreud: learn from mayank vashishtha and show off ur VBGYOR gene, gaily.

Rohan Chawla said...

Hi Anon,

Thank you for your comment. Replies below :

1. This post is not about homosexuality. This post is about how we see the world. It is about how we have a bias towards the majority. Homosexuality is a means to an end for this post. Also, considering how much I have spoken over the years and on the blogs, it doesn't seem "a lot".

2. It would be great if you could tell me why supporting/talking about homosexuality is the most significant characteristic. The same does not hold true for womens' rights, animal rights and backward classes upliftment. If you talk or support these causes, you do not become one of them. In fact, this type of blanket judging is what I was talking about in the post.

3. Thank you once more for your free diagnostic. Unfortunately, it is incorrect. I am hetrosexual. You may now use reverse reason/psychology to prove that I am hidding repressed feelings for the fear of how society will judge me. Funnily enough, if I had written a hate post to the gay community - I would've been called a closet gay even then.

4. I think you need to come out from your narrow view of the world and see from the broad prisms of reality. I have learnt enough from Mayank for one life. I need to diversify my learning sources.

Also, I don't think homosexuality is genetic.

Anonymous said...

"arey baba" rohan: conterarguments ensue. read at your own peril.

1. it is interesting to note that a heterosexual chooses homosexuality as 'the' means to 'the'end. your whole elucidation is rife with words relating to gender and sexuality. ( guys with names like sahil and rohan are generally found to be gays )

2.your second point is borrowed from ur browsed info frm random threads and blogs related to homosexuality. why are u so keen?

3.you should not justify your heterosexuality. "unfortunately" is an important word. it seems that since in any case you wud b perceived as a closet gay, therfore u support and speak abt it. at least that wud give you satisfaction.

4.i am liberal enuf and ask u to accept "it" and prod u to follow suit. homosexuals tend to be more liberal because they themselves need recognition.

i speak the truth or i choose to keep mum.

Rohan Chawla said...

I think the premise of your arguments is based on the fact that homosexuals are not normal people. That they are different and/or special. I believe that they are as human as heterosexuals and therefore will have common characteristics. So homosexuals can and cannot be named Rohan, be liberal and/or orthodox, wanting to have kids etc. I do not think that there is a specific set of criteria that defines a homosexual, other than of course their sexual orientation.

This is why I don't find it very interesting that a heterosexual writes about homosexual rights - because its humans writing about humans. There is nothing to wonder or be surprised about.

And you're right about one thing - I should not justify my heterosexuality. This post is not about that. So if you have any views/comments about what I've written in my post - please feel free to comment. If you have questions/free advice on the person that I am, I'd request you to direct those to a different forum. The views in the post are personal but that does not mean that the comments extend to who the person is. It was my mistake that I entertained your earlier comment and I don't wish to repeat that.

Ahana Datta said...

Dear Anon,

Regardless of whether Rohan is in the closet, or of his preferred steak preparation (I say this because he is vegetarian) or of his favourite TV channel, it is quite clear that whilst he is using his blog as a means to opine on a general problem with a specific example, you are making a fool of yourself with your clever diagnoses.

Thanks for your free unsolicited counsel. The world is most certainly better off without scum like you.



Anonymous said...

ahana ahana ahana
i know he is veggie but i am sure you my dearie are a carnivorous hawkish harridan hungry for my repartees. such hunger on 12-12-12 is apocalyptic, no? now read at your own peril.

don't be jealous of rohan just because he is "fairer".
give me the chance to know how anyone makes a fool of her/himself when s/he diagnoses cleverly.

and since you seem to be so thankful for my counselling be a little more when i advise you to learn sarcasm.
IQ Test:
the following questions have the same answer:
what is ur skin color?
what color is scum?

yeay. a beautiful afrikaans word!

i don't fancy rohan. he is so gayish. eew. but he is intelligent, smart and funny.

dnt turn purple cause your color is natural camouflage to it.

well poking your nose in our affair, you surely managed not to make a fool of yourself in the process. (i know you have read logic)

Ahana Datta said...

You do realise that Rohan and I are laughing at you, right? You being some sad anonymous coward seeking validation on the internet.

Oh, and my dear man with skilled "repartees", my "scum coloured" skin still gets me a lot more respect than you ever will.

Good luck, and don't bother your mommy too much! Cheerio :)

Anonymous said...

ahana! ahana! ahana!
a lil more respect for ur skill at answering only what u could comprehend. i guess ur pseudointellectualism is gud enuf to outshine ur ugly face.

surely i am a coward in front of u fr u my dearie are a tad too brave to rant valiantly, smartly eshewing ur depressing figure and scum skin. i would feel bad forur boyfriend(just in case u manage to ensnare any).he sure wud be no coward! AIYYA
Good luck, aand don't bother your mirror too much! Cheerio :)