28 April 2009

Conspiracy Theory

Imagine for a second if everything started to make sense. If there were answers to all your questions. If everything in this Universe was perfectly placed and every story had a reason to it, a planned idea for execution. Ok, this beginning to sound like the back cover of a book, so I'll get straight to the point. Here is a fun filled list (hopefully) on a bunch of stuff which might have secret conspiracies running behind them. I mean you just never know.

Dedication : To my Brooke Davis. I hope you have as crazy a mind as mine.

Song: Since this is a CRAZY post, here's a CRAZY song. Smelly Cat by Phoebe Buffay. LOL

1. Delhi Jal Board: If you're driving on the Delhi roads then you are bound to bump into huge banners that block the road reading Delhi Jal Board--Work In Progress. I mean spare some roads. What I've heard is that they're putting in some new pipes and taking out the old ones, but I truly believe that they've found the treasure map to the Pandva Treasury and all the digging is to strike gold. They were corrupt, but now they are treasure hunters.

2. Facebook: Internal Conspiracy between Ahana and me.

3. Recession: War and Peace are old troubles. I mean how much more blood, hunger and all the ugly stuff. Everyone's seen it. Wars are a thing of the past. Economic Harassment is the new thing. No Blood, lesser deaths and even more trouble for economists and scholars. Just a bunch of pink slips, salary cuts and lesser enjoyment. I also feel that the US is doing it purposely to reaffirm it's position as number one. Uncle Sam gets hurt, the world cries.

4. The Bollywood Strike: For those who don't know, apparently no more Bollywood movies will release on multiplexes till the time the producers and the multiplex owners call it truce. The truth really is, Bollywood is out of ideas to make any new films and with increasing copyright issues, no Holly remakes. Multiplexes on the other hand think they earn too less from their overpriced food. Either way, Pirated DVD marketing is going smooth sailing as always.

5. Destiny, Love and God: You can't always blame yourself for the misery in your life. I mean why do you think these ideas were created in the first places. It's written and all that. Oh by the way, I don't question the belief of God. I worship Krishna. But sometimes it's always their fault.

6. Shoe Throwing: It apparently is in fashion. Started off with Bush, it has become quite a rage in India. I mean every second day some poor politician gets a Rebook or Nike. I think they're paid to throw, logically why else would some one care. It's a publicity stunt. The Politicians are pulling a Rakhi Sawant.

7. Harry Potter: Rowling is a witch. She tried to spill the beans and got banished from the Magic World. Now she is taking revenge by publishing all these books. She is a powerful one, so no memory charms work on her. Sad, no one understood her but me.

That's enough I think. My brain can't think any more answers.


Ahana Datta said...


For once, I agree with you on every single thing on that post. Especially Rowling.


You must write a book.

ss said...

Lovd this post.couldnt agree more with all thats said..esp politicians pulling a rakhi sawant!and the recession effect.Awesome post.

Rohan Chawla said...

=> Ahana

Hehe finally we achieve a consensus. You reckon Rowling could show us a bunch of Unicorns?

=> Mohit

Thanks. Maybe it could be called,
International Treasure: Book of Secrets and Lies.

=> ss

Thanks. I am telling you no sane man can understand all the economic mumbo-jumbo, so might as well make a fool out of the entire human race. LOL.

aditi said...

NICE!! what else can i say? when i say that u r my favourite intern, i think that says it all =)

Rohan Chawla said...

=> Aditi

:) :) Thank You, My editor for life.