Hermits

This floor of the building was unknown to him and so he tread very carefully. It was somewhat dark, or even if there was light, everything seemed fuzzy. He felt a great sense of uneasiness, a feeling that he shouldn't move forward. But he also felt that he wasn't in control; that it wasn't him who was walking, but someone else. Yet he was the one who felt the movement. And suddenly he felt as if he was falling down a flight of stairs or perhaps falling off a floor or maybe just a great fall down a rabbit hole.

But he had made no such fall. He woke up with a sign of disgust and annoyance. He said to himself - "Yaar, yeh wali feeling kyun hoti hai? (why does this happen?)" He knew he wasn't the only one in the world experiencing it. People dream of worse things - dinosaurs, terrorists and what have you. But this free fall gave him a really bad headache; one that wouldn't let him sleep any further. He hated this feeling.

He drudgingly woke up and did his morning business. What a crappy start. He ate his breakfast, charged his electric devices, packed his lunch and blah and blah and blah. While he was walking to the nearest bus stop to catch a bus (duh!), he put on his earphones and started listening to the music on his music player. Then he said to himself, maybe I should listen to the radio today. The radio is full of surprises and you never know what's coming your way. But the quality and choice is much better on the music player.

And while this was going on, he thought to himself - Hey! Am I talking to myself? Is my mouth opening and closing and my face animating or is all this music business in my head? Are people thinking that I am talking to myself? Although, all this talk about talking to himself was definitely in his head. Actually, that's what pissed him off most - whenever he tried to figure out if he talked to himself, his mind would trick him and make sure everything henceforth was in his mind. Damn it! No way to ever find out. He eventually selected the radio.

And while he waited for the bus, he felt a weird sensation down there. Droplets of toxic waste were hinting their arrival. He found it prudent to take a piss before he boarded the bus. So he walked to the nearest public toilet. He stood in front of the urinal, looked down (Mens' Loo Golden Rule : You don't look at mine, I don't look at yours. We are not interested) and there was nothing. No toxic waste, no droplets and certainly no piss. He prayed to God, made the shhhhh sound and applied all his mental energy, but nothing came out.

He then came out, only to see that his bus had left.

And then he actually said to himself, "Koi naa. Bus hi toh thi. Sussu nikal jata toh!"

He smiled and carried on with his day.


To Apurv Sathe. Bruh-der!

Song : Iss Dil Ka Kya Karoon -- Burfi 

P.S. : This is just the morning. Your (and my) life has many more of these ridiculous, annoying and 'I will not share with others' moments. Don't deny them. Don't discard them. Enjoy! There is so much beauty and fun in all of us. And in everything we do. Mazze karo!

Like me, over here :

Godspeed

This is why they never let me speak at annual functions :

"When I came to college, I didn't know why college was important. It was the next logical step. I worked really hard in my school leaving exams, so that I could study at a good college; but why must I go to college was still unknown. 3 years later, I am still unsure if college is necessary; but I am glad that I went to college.

"For most of us, we have broadly two paths ahead. Some of us will study more so that we can work later and some of us will work a little so that we can study later. But at the end of this business, we'll all be working, married, blessed with children, ungrateful for what we have and cursing that which we don't. But most of all, we'll all be dead. And that fear will drive us crazy, forcing ourselves to question - Have I made it large? Does my life matter?

"And we will measure that by the wealth we have accumulated, the fame of our works, the beauty of our love interests and the power we command. All compared to our dearest school friends, who we haven't spoken to in years, our colleagues who we meet everyday and our relatives who we promise to stand by.

"Yet. None of this will make us happy. We will still continue to be miserable - perhaps lesser, maybe more. But what will make us happy? Many bestselling authors have remarked that happiness lies in doing what you want to do. Fantastic. What is that you want to do? Your heart will guide you. It will be your true calling. You will know.

"Does that help you? Because it sure as hell didn't help me. I believe that you will never know what will make you happy. You see, happiness for most of us is a post-action feeling; so unless the act has happened, we will never know if the act will actually bring happiness. So how can one say that 'this' will bring happiness, when the quantum of happiness will come later. I thought being society post holder will bring me happiness, but in reality it made my life miserable. One will never know.

"Should we stop doing anything at all? No. Bollocks. This is not a dope session. Instead we should stop thinking about happiness altogether. Quit chasing it. We've done so much in our life, are we happy today? Or are we worried about jobs, work, result, entrances and all that. Don't think about it. Just do your role. And that's it. The moment we think of 'this' will give me happiness, we run the risk of disappointment. And since we aren't gods, demi-gods or what have you, and can't control anything, we end up being disappointed. So Lesson # 1 : Fuck Happiness. That is not the goal of your life.

"Before you make me your role model, hold your panties. We all have role models and people to look up to. And we choose the best assortment - Da Vinci, Plato, Gandhi etc. And we dedicate our lives to being like them. Sometimes our role models force us to become like them. Yes, I am talking about our parents. And we find these mysterious common qualities between the role model and ourselves. And boom! It's a cosmic connection. We were meant to be like them.

"And considering we are huge in number, it is very likely that you end up being like them. I won't be surprised. But I won't be surprised either, if someone made themselves like their role model, not thinking about who they could be. Lesson # 2 : Live your own life, bro. Have your own experiences. Don't live someone else's life. For that, you have books and movies.

"But at this point, you should look at me and say -who the hell are you to tell me what to do and what not to do? You sucked up to some teacher and that's why you are giving this speech. Nothing more and nothing less. And that would be the truest thing ever! Don't believe me. Question each word I say. No one has the right to tell you how to lead your life. But that doesn't imply that you do whatever you want. Enquire.

"Before you throw your hats in to the air, think about what college was and what you learnt? Did you learn how to solve problems or did you learn how to solve issues? Did you learn how to interact with people or did you learn how to respect people? Did you think or did you follow? That's my third lesson for you - to constantly think for what you are doing? And is it creating value in anyway.

"Now is when you'll throw stones at me and yell - what the hell are we supposed to do, you idiot! We are not supposed to find happiness, we are not supposed to follow people and we are supposed to question every god damn thing! What does that leave us with?! Nothing. And that is exactly how your life should be. An accumulation of nothing. If you have nothing in your head, that is when you'll lead your life as if it were a new life. Not a life of your parents, not a happiness chase, not a chicken run - but a human experience of this world. Be nothing.

"Don't live your life as a male, as a Hindu, as a graduate or as an employee. Fulfill your duties - but don't become a routine of those duties. Don't become a monument of conditioning. I am doing this because this is how it is done. Don't do it. Try something else. If you were to do this for the first time, how would you do it? Live your life like that. Without any idea of the past. Without any thought of the present. Without any worry of the future. With nothing. 

"And that's all I have to say. Godspeed."

To J. Krishnamurti.

Song : Under Pressure -- Queen feat. David Bowie (This version is awesome!)

A Dummies Guide to An Optimistic World

“I feel the glow of your unspoken love. I am aware of the treasure that I hold…And I say to myself, It’s wonderful, wonderful – Oh So Wonderful, My Love!”

Who said Life is Shit? It’s wonderful and beautiful! You just have to look in the right place and you’ll find it. But as always, sermons are much easier to deliver than to implement in our boring lives. So what to do? Here are a few tips :

1. All’s Well That Ends Well : If at the end of the day, you are tired and lying on your bed and listening to a sad and slow song and you think to yourself, theek hai yaar zindagi (Life is okay), then that’s all you need. Getting anything on Planet Earth is not easy, except of course the scorn of other people; so if you’ve gone through lots of troubles and bad times, consider yourself natural. But if those turbulent times are over, then enjoy the sunshine and don’t fret about the ghost of troubles past. The good thing is that they are gone and done – and you are free and should be happy, until of course they come again. If in the end, you’ve nearly got what you wanted, breathe a sigh of relief. Aaram Karom, Relax Karom. Chill. 

2. Misery is Another Constant in Life : Furthering Point # 1, misery is the other constant in life. Bad times will come. We all keep wondering why isn’t our life like a fairytale, but we forget that the happily ever after ending comes, well, in the end! Before that there is a huge black spot of misery. Alice fell into a rabbit hole, changed forms and beat the Jabberwocky; Snow White battled an ugly step mother (not the fairest of ‘em all, eh?) and slept for a long time, before a necrophilist Prince Charming came along. Pinocchio was hung upside down on the branch of a tree! So don’t worry about misery – it’s going to come anyway.  Best you can do, is pull up your socks and beat the God the damn thing! Man Up (Woman up too)! Life isn’t sugar, spice and all that’s nice – there is always a Chemical X! (PPG :P)

3. The Lynchpin Theory : Oooo. This is my favourite. Sometimes what happens, happens for the best. Take for example, if I had been rewarded with one more mark in my board exams, I wouldn’t have been doing B.Com Hons, nor would’ve been in the same college, might not have even learnt debating, and finally might not be writing this post. How small things work their way up, it’s incredible. Small, insignificant things go a long way in shaping our lives and it is only in the retrospective that we realize that. If you regret doing or not doing something, then measure the full value of that regret. If you would’ve done things differently, things would also be different today. And since we don’t know if they’d be much better or much worse, spare yourself the headache. Look into the mirror and smile. It might be the silliest thing you’ll ever do, but it will go a long way in making you happy. Small Things. Big Outcomes.

4. Make it the Worst : If the above rational argumentation does not make sense to you, start imagining the worst. Don’t think that good and bad outcomes are equally likely; instead think that bad outcomes are more likely. So if you are upset that you don’t have X+5,  imagine if you ever on X-5. The level of happiness would fall tremendously na? So don’t be greedy and be a little grateful.  I mean, where else would you receive such clear and FREE analysis on how to live life. Not everyone is able to read this Blog, but you can. So be grateful about that. Now, be a dear and send in the fan mail, flowers, chocolates and cheques! Plenty is what you have!

5. SWOT Analysis : Every business from time to time does a SWOT Analysis i.e. : Strength, Weakness, Opportunities and Threats. I don’t care about the rest, but Opportunities is important. I am not of the belief that when one door closes, another one opens; in fact I think a million doors are always open. Life is full of opportunities.  There are so many things in this world.  You could be an actress and yet have half a dozen children, you could be a painter and an inventor at the same time, you could be deaf and still make Music, you can be so many things – all to your hearts’ content. So if something doesn’t work out, think about what went wrong, work on your flaws and then move on! Time is better spent on doing new and better things, than on lamenting! Look at me - from IAS to MBA to M.Com to LLB to MA Eco -only to realise in the end that I don't want to study more. Story for another day. 

6. Realistic Targets : There is a difference between Optimism and Stupidity. Optimism does not mean that you think all is well and all will be well. It's rational enough to account for deviations and abnormal events. Optimists don't feel bad about things that they don't control. It is okay to feel bad about something you could've controlled, but feeling bad about something that you couldn't have controlled is a little pushing it. Some bad things in life, no matter what you do, you cannot control (death, disease, natural calamity). If you're upset, it's okay. But don't let it become you. No matter what happens, you've got to move on and eliminate the cause of the misery. So if a natural calamity happens and you are sad, do something about it! Sometimes when I lose a debate, when I think I should've won, I just let it pass. I can't reverse the judges' decision, why make myself miserable about it. Of course, I give the judge a low score, that's my way of doing something about it :P

And that's about it. I hope these help you. They've helped me. Always remember, nothing in this world has the ability to hurt you or should have the right to make you feel miserable.Tum Bindaas raho. Broken heart, Bad marks, Bastard Boss or Bekaar Phone - nothing is more important than you. So value yourself.

To Jaya Row Ji. For being a Wonderful Guide in my life.

Song : Wonderful! Wonderful! -- Johnny Mathis

I highly recommend listening to the song. Also that's a Mentos with Chill Pill written on it. I highly recommend that too :)

P.S. : The Blog's new look has inspired me to add pictures to all new posts (as of now!). Don't worry I am not buying a DSLR/SLR for the same :P

Also, adding tags/labels to posts, so they can be categorized well. Yay!