Oh! My God!

I love asking personal questions (see evidence). It just puts people in such a spot and their answers are always so surprising. So sometimes I ask them if they believe in God. And then they ask me. And I say I am spiritual and that's confusing because everything from Yoga to The Secret is about the "spirit". Hence this post is to clarify my stance on what I theologically believe. It is more for me than it is for you.

Till about this time last year, I used to call myself a Hindu (or so my Facebook used to read). Wonderful hues of saffron, a big red tika, a white kurta  and prayer thali  come to mind when I hear the word Hindu. Anyway, that changed when I read more about the demolition of the Babri Masjid, the Bombay riots and the imposition of the Hindu identity on India. I felt like I was somehow a part of this; almost guilty by association (though I no longer believe in this guilt).

A lot also had to do with my experience with religion. Few years ago, I was deeply religious - I would do puja everyday, go to the Gurudwara everyday, learn the prayers etc. While all this was calming to the mind, it never seemed fulfilling. I just felt that I could spend all this time and effort in helping the poor and that it would be more fruitful. And so I stopped the religious rituals and became more pragmatic with my belief.

And I think that is the role of religion in our lives. Religion prepares the mind for the spiritual. Once the mind is relatively calm, it is easier to understand the philosophical aspects of spirituality - the meaning of life stuff.

And that's why I did not turn to any other religion. I was pretty much done with what religion had to offer. However, my spiritual leanings still remained broadly Hindu (Vedanta/Bhagwad Gita is what I am more comfortable associating to).

1. Karma : I believe in Karma. I genuinely believe that what goes around, comes around. You do evil, you get evil. You do good, you get good. Whether the yardstick of good or bad is decided by your thoughts, actions or motivations; I am not so sure. I believe there is no universal rule to that. I think we have this inner core/gut that tells us and warns us when we are about to do something that is "not good"; and I think maybe that is the criteria to decide what is good and what is bad. As an extension I also believe in the Golden Rule - "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" What you invest is what you receive.


2. Afterlife : No. I don't believe that life is a continuum. That there were many previous births and that there might be many future births. I think there is this life (here and now) and that is all you should be worried about.
And even if there were multiple lives, I think they would be independent of each other. So your Karma in one life would have no bearing to the Karma in another life. Your profits and debts are settled in each life itself. You can only be held accountable or deemed profitable to receive for what you knowingly commit.


3. God : I don't believe in a watchdog God; one who keeps track of your prayers, the kind of candles you light, the fasts you keep and sins you commit. I cannot get myself to believe that God would be "watching" over us. I also don't believe in any form or manifestation of God that is different from "us". What I mean is that the spirit that allows us do things, that allows us to make decisions, feel emotions, move around etc.; that energy is possibly God at macrocosm and spirit at the microcosm - but it is all still the same. While we are all divided by our bodies, mind, intellect and natural endowments, at the core we are all the same. The essence in you is the essence in me.

4. Purpose of Life : This is where I have no conclusive answer. Vedanta believes that we are all essentially the infinite (God) and for some reason we have mistaken ourselves to be this body; and that life is a journey from imperfection (associating with the lower) to perfection (associating with something higher).  My primary problem with this is that I don't know what the cause of ignorance is; why would something as infinite as God associate itself to something low like the body, only to get back to the infinite. If there is going to be this energy before there was everything, and this energy that will exist after everything; then why should there be "everything". What's the point of the world if everything is essentially the same? (That's an unanswered question in my beliefs too)
I am also uncomfortable with the idea that the life is a journey. I think it's the cause of the journey that bothers me; why must I go on this journey - to what end? What will I achieve? If I am born, and I live through this journey of ups and downs, and then I die; what changes? If in the end, death is inevitable - why should you live? What is the end goal?
Of course, the valid question is, is there an end goal? I believe there is; because then life would make sense. If there isn't, then that's just much much worse; because we are then living for nothing.
Till the time I don't know what the end goal of life is, I have a proxy. Whatever you do, just do your best. If you write, pour your heart and soul into it. If you manage portfolios, pour your heart and soul into it. If you sell pan masala, pour your heart and soul into it. Give it every ounce of your time and effort. Be the best version of yourself. It would be a tragic waste otherwise.

And that pretty much sums up what I believe (or not believe). That's my faith, my religion, my way of life, my core or whatever have you.

To the Guru

त्वमेव माता च पिता त्वमेव ।
त्वमेव बन्धुश्च सखा त्वमेव ।
त्वमेव विद्या द्रविणम् त्वमेव ।

त्वमेव सर्वम् मम देव देव ॥

Ud Jayega -- Kumar Gandharva

Godspeed

This is why they never let me speak at annual functions :

"When I came to college, I didn't know why college was important. It was the next logical step. I worked really hard in my school leaving exams, so that I could study at a good college; but why must I go to college was still unknown. 3 years later, I am still unsure if college is necessary; but I am glad that I went to college.

"For most of us, we have broadly two paths ahead. Some of us will study more so that we can work later and some of us will work a little so that we can study later. But at the end of this business, we'll all be working, married, blessed with children, ungrateful for what we have and cursing that which we don't. But most of all, we'll all be dead. And that fear will drive us crazy, forcing ourselves to question - Have I made it large? Does my life matter?

"And we will measure that by the wealth we have accumulated, the fame of our works, the beauty of our love interests and the power we command. All compared to our dearest school friends, who we haven't spoken to in years, our colleagues who we meet everyday and our relatives who we promise to stand by.

"Yet. None of this will make us happy. We will still continue to be miserable - perhaps lesser, maybe more. But what will make us happy? Many bestselling authors have remarked that happiness lies in doing what you want to do. Fantastic. What is that you want to do? Your heart will guide you. It will be your true calling. You will know.

"Does that help you? Because it sure as hell didn't help me. I believe that you will never know what will make you happy. You see, happiness for most of us is a post-action feeling; so unless the act has happened, we will never know if the act will actually bring happiness. So how can one say that 'this' will bring happiness, when the quantum of happiness will come later. I thought being society post holder will bring me happiness, but in reality it made my life miserable. One will never know.

"Should we stop doing anything at all? No. Bollocks. This is not a dope session. Instead we should stop thinking about happiness altogether. Quit chasing it. We've done so much in our life, are we happy today? Or are we worried about jobs, work, result, entrances and all that. Don't think about it. Just do your role. And that's it. The moment we think of 'this' will give me happiness, we run the risk of disappointment. And since we aren't gods, demi-gods or what have you, and can't control anything, we end up being disappointed. So Lesson # 1 : Fuck Happiness. That is not the goal of your life.

"Before you make me your role model, hold your panties. We all have role models and people to look up to. And we choose the best assortment - Da Vinci, Plato, Gandhi etc. And we dedicate our lives to being like them. Sometimes our role models force us to become like them. Yes, I am talking about our parents. And we find these mysterious common qualities between the role model and ourselves. And boom! It's a cosmic connection. We were meant to be like them.

"And considering we are huge in number, it is very likely that you end up being like them. I won't be surprised. But I won't be surprised either, if someone made themselves like their role model, not thinking about who they could be. Lesson # 2 : Live your own life, bro. Have your own experiences. Don't live someone else's life. For that, you have books and movies.

"But at this point, you should look at me and say -who the hell are you to tell me what to do and what not to do? You sucked up to some teacher and that's why you are giving this speech. Nothing more and nothing less. And that would be the truest thing ever! Don't believe me. Question each word I say. No one has the right to tell you how to lead your life. But that doesn't imply that you do whatever you want. Enquire.

"Before you throw your hats in to the air, think about what college was and what you learnt? Did you learn how to solve problems or did you learn how to solve issues? Did you learn how to interact with people or did you learn how to respect people? Did you think or did you follow? That's my third lesson for you - to constantly think for what you are doing? And is it creating value in anyway.

"Now is when you'll throw stones at me and yell - what the hell are we supposed to do, you idiot! We are not supposed to find happiness, we are not supposed to follow people and we are supposed to question every god damn thing! What does that leave us with?! Nothing. And that is exactly how your life should be. An accumulation of nothing. If you have nothing in your head, that is when you'll lead your life as if it were a new life. Not a life of your parents, not a happiness chase, not a chicken run - but a human experience of this world. Be nothing.

"Don't live your life as a male, as a Hindu, as a graduate or as an employee. Fulfill your duties - but don't become a routine of those duties. Don't become a monument of conditioning. I am doing this because this is how it is done. Don't do it. Try something else. If you were to do this for the first time, how would you do it? Live your life like that. Without any idea of the past. Without any thought of the present. Without any worry of the future. With nothing. 

"And that's all I have to say. Godspeed."

To J. Krishnamurti.

Song : Under Pressure -- Queen feat. David Bowie (This version is awesome!)

Der Sinn des Lebens.

To Vasudha Jain, for being with this blog since it's conception :)

Song : Yeh Zindagi Bhi by Shankar Ehsaan Loy

Image Credit : http://www.surrealart.com/images/0016__16x20___Cliffjumpers.jpg

Our lives are marked by routine. One that works in an infinite loop. We are born. We grow. We marry. We breed. We raise children. We earn. And one fine day, We die. It just happens with everyone and anyone. I dare say that all of those things are bad, but blind following, one that is sans questioning and reasoning, is bad. Following something that has been done since ages, simply coz it is that way, would be dumb. Status Quo by the virtue of Status Quo doesn't become right. We should act in ways we believe are right and not coz some assumed authority directed it that way. There are only two code of conducts that ever existed in the world, the earlier version is Religion and the latter is Law. It's funny how in both cases, common people barely have a say.

When I said, we should do things we believe in, I meant that the belief should derived by reason and logic. But then I wonder, is there scope for reason in the world? No matter how much logic we apply to the world, it still remains random and unpredictable. Whatever we do, seems useless then. Are Karma, Destiny and Luck the main factors of our lives? We don't know for sure. As much as I'd love to say that everything happens for a reason, the inability to find one always, just deludes me.

So coming back. What is the Purpose of Life? Why are we born? Are we to lead these mundane straight-jacketed lives? Just take birth, live and then die. I like to believe that there is some common purpose for all of us. Life can't be a torture we have to bear. There has to be more to it. Call me an optimist, but there has to be a goal, a focus, a direction that guides our lives. What that purpose is, I don't know, and any guess would push me into spirituality and religion. I want to keep those away for a while.

So let's say Person X has infinite desires. Unlimited and beyond control. Let's say there exists a Grocery Store in the Universe that'll fulfill all your desires. Person X uses this free grocery store. Do you think he'll be satiated? Do you think the world has the ability to fulfill you? To make you content? Can the possession of material things make you permanently happy, content and at peace? I disagree. They can't. My desires are unlimited and the Grocery Stock is unlimited too. I'll just would want more and more and more. And since it's available, I'll grab more and more and more. And yet not be content. So materiality would never make me happy. Then what will?

What would make us content lies beyond the material world. Something that is outside of all this. Away from all this. And it is only when the desire to fulfill the purpose is satisfied that we will be satisfied. It's a tautology. If the purpose is fulfilled, we will be fulfilled because our purpose is fulfilled.

So our lives are a routine. A routine journey to identify our purpose, find ways to fulfill the same and then eventually fulfill it. We are Humans. It can't be so hard that we suck at it. It's not Rocket Science. It can't be Rocket Science. Else it won't make sense. And the world is random, not nonsensical. It's the Science of the Self. The History of Man. The Accounts of our Virtues and Vices. The Politics of our Mind. And much more. Yet it can't be complex. It'll be basic and simple. Direct but hard to achieve.

I hope everyone finds their Purpose. Sooner or Later, I guess everyone will.

The Parable of the Prodigal Self

To the many people, who think that they are always right, but might just be Blind Sheep.

Song Dedication : Prodigal by OneRepublic and Let it Be by The Beatles.

Ok, I don't know how many of you have heard the story of the Prodigal Son from the Bible, but before I go on with my rant, you must know it. So here goes copy + paste from Wiki.

The story is found in Luke 15:11-32. Jesus tells the story of a man who has two sons. The younger demands his share of his inheritance while his father is still living, and goes off to a distant country where he "waste[s] his substance with riotous living" and eventually has to take work as a swineherd (clearly a low point, since swine are unclean in Judaism). There he comes to his senses and decides to return home and throw himself on his father's mercy, thinking that even if his father does disown him, being one of his servants is still far better than feeding pigs. But when he returns home, his father greets him with open arms and hardly gives him a chance to express his repentance. He kills a fatted calf to celebrate his return. The older brother resents the favored treatment of his faithless brother and complains of the lack of reward for his own faithfulness. But the father responds:

" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.'

So it's broadly about a son, who made his own decisions, went away and eventually came back.

Now what I wanna talk about is, the feeling of going and the feeling of coming back.

The feeling of going. Why did the Son go away? Because that's what his own Self wanted. Why do we stray away from the norm? Because we think it's right. Is our own feeling incorrect simply coz it's not widely accepted? No. Or at least it shouldn't be that way. What I mean is, the Son or even us, are never wrong in trying to experiment, in trying to do what maybe perceived to be wrong or doing the wacky, even though we infringe on so many rights of other individuals. Especially coz that's how mistakes are made. And discoveries found. 

Here is where the distinction must be made between my own mistakes and learning from someone else's mistakes. It wouldn't be incorrect to say that some people know the outcome of actions and that we should learn from them. And that's how you learn from the past. But that learning is purely limited, for times change and also concepts of right and wrong. So if the world largely believes that Pop Musik is crap when compared to Rock, one should get into both and then make that decision independently. And that's not the mistake of believing in Pop, but simply a judgment that should be yours and not someone else's. Same with Religion. You think the scriptures are nonsense, maybe once you read them you'll know for sure. Ascribing to a particular belief system, simply coz it's modern and fancy, is the dumbest thing to do. So if I believe that I don't want to have children, maybe I should spend some time with my young nephew to be sure that this is what I want or not. Of course, somethings like rape and murder are intrinsically bad, so don't commit the mistake of Rape, and say I was just checking.

The feeling of return. Once you've done your research, figured out what you believe is right and wrong, there could be two cases. Either your conclusion matches the world's or it doesn't. In Case One, you're pretty much fucked, coz the world was right all along and you were wrong.  But I personally believe that the feeling of knowing by yourself trumps everything else. So if I concluded somehow that Religion was inevitable in the world, for a moral code of conduct is required and one constructed out of rights cannot operate, and that too is the larger belief, then me knowing on my own, through my own study of society will give me a surety of truth. On the other hand, a mere acceptance of the above would be playing Blind Sheep. And the confidence of truth and it's proof is great relief in the head.

Now the receptive aspect of the feeling of return, The Father or The World. If you look closely, The Father accepted The Son. He had no more qualms, no problems and was just so happy that His Son had finally returned. And that precisely is what The World should be like. Open to forgiveness and ready to hold you in it's arms. However that really doesn't happen. The World, or so I have experienced, more often than not, becomes arrogant and virtually says-->"I told you so!" And it's this feeling that creates fear of experimentation. What if I am wrong? What if the World is the rule and I am the exception? And it's this attitude of The World, that kills many hearts, either by the means of killing the passion of experimentation or by "I told you so!" This is what I call The Prodigal Feeling.

What is worse, is when the world follows a certain belief without concrete proof and when you find that concrete proof by challenging the existing, you become the dumbfuck and The Prodigal Son. So if The World believes in God, and you question the existence of God, and thereby in your research find that god truly exists, you are the person The World will call mad.

Another interesting dimension is this. If you have the courage to go against the norm, then the questions and comments from the norm shouldn't bother you and hence fuck the world. But the beauty is this. You can never be independent of the world. Or so is the case with me. The World is my check and balance and which is why Prodigalness fucks me over so much. The World will always tell me what it believes, by proof or not, and in that check, it will continue to question what I do at every step of my own journey. And that constant questioning troubles me so much. But then of course, I am learning to rationalize it, yet at times I am angry at The World/The Father for being hypocritical and questioning without actual proof or self discovery. I am certain about myself, you may also find something similar.  

In Case Two, when proof is contrary to larger belief, it becomes your duty to propagate the right belief, how you do it, is the matter of later post :)

And that's about it. Prodigal Self is interesting. Our Journey is our own. People can tell me The Beatles are awesome, gift me the Musik of The Beatles, but at the end, it's my own choice to like/dislike them. And if I like them, merely coz The World does, then I am Blind Sheep. And I don't want to live with that.

Two Hindi phrases before I end.

1. Bhed-Chal

2. Subah ka bhoola agar shaam ko aaye, toh usse bhoola nahi kehte.  

It's Never Too Late

The world is filled with sayings and phrases that are oft quoted but less understood. “Be the change”, “Love one and all”, “Have Faith” and “Honesty is the best policy” are some of them. I reflected on many of these and discovered that one particular quote encompassed all of them-“It’s never too late.”

Time is one strange philosophical and scientific concept. If it is true for event A, it becomes false for event B. Ideas of time cannot be put rigidly and require a great deal of flexibility. The fact that time once lost cannot be regained and certain damage already done cannot be mended is the main crux of the concept of time and ethics. However, there are some virtues for which time travel is not required to undo what is wrong. For them, time is not important-it is the realization that matters.


To begin with, lets focus on Love. One big misunderstood idea. Love is anything that gives you happiness; that which brings a smile to your face; that which speaks in the silence of two mute beings.[1] Not only is it never too late to love, but also to be loved. To appreciate the one who loves you, and confess to the one whom you love. Love is different from possession. Possession is mere addiction. Confessing doesn’t give you your love; it allows you to flow in the river unburdened. It’s never too late to dedicate one’s life to love.[2]


From the web of love sometimes originate lies. Lies to cover up things that we fear to share; that we think would defame us; that which are hidden behind our disguised intentions.[3] However, it’s never too late to reveal your true self. To confess your lies and lighten up the lamp of truth. Economically speaking, Lies may provide immediate satisfaction but lack long-term reward. Truth allows you to be that divine tree which stands tall on the cliff of the world, fluttering with the wind of mortality. It’s never too late to experiment your life with truth.[4]


In the tide of time, one always dreams of the future, of how they would look in the fourth dimension. Looks of their career, their dream, their aspirations and their lifestyle. It’s important to understand that these bits and pieces of a wool gatherer can be real. They are dreamt to be achieved and not to be lost in the practicality of wakefulness. What you want to be is what you will be. The Secret of The Alchemist lies nowhere but in you. [5] It’s never too late to ask the magical mirror of the self, how to be the most good-looking among all.[6]


The most important of them all is the power of leasing your energy to achieve what has been unfinished, to complete what is left undone and to be the above. You need to act to do anything in life. But this one involves more caution. Love can die, Dreams can fade and lies can be forgotten but your obligation towards others cannot be adjusted. It requires your dedication and strength, not when the damage is done but to prevent any damage. The option of never being late doesn’t arrive when death is at the doorstep. Let it never be late when you are a person of leadership.


Let us all do something of the above-big or small, in our lives, so that we can beat the Ferrari with the Horse; and march with our head held high in the path of life.


After a billion footnotes thanking many, here’s text to the one who made this possible. Thanks Raghav for making me think over this, :) :)


[1] Modification of Kalyani Gandhi’s view of Love.[2] One life to love is a show on NDTV[3] Courtesy: Movie Naqab-disguised intentions.[4] My experiments with truth is the autobiography of M. K. Gandhi[5] The Secret and The Alchemist are two well-noted books, which tell you that what you dearly want is what you get.[6] Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

What Will Matter?

I came across this piece the other day..thanks to my english tecaher(Ma'am Virk-u're amazing)..and also to the writer-Michael Joesphson for penning it down in the first place...i hope you like it...

What Will Matter?

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.

All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.

It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear.

So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.

It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.

Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter?How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity,compassion, courage, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew,but how many will feel a lasting loss when your gone.

What will matter is not your memories but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered,by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.