29 August 2025

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To Shivani and Debaditya, and everyone that made it possible.

When I was in junior school, I dreamt of being an architect. I remember looking at classifieds of real estate projects and pictures of high rise buildings and big malls. I thought that  one day I will become an architect and construct these enormous and awe inspiring buildings.

However, as one grows, dreams often fade away. And like that my dream to become an architect also faded. It gave away to other dreams, such as being the Prime Minister or being a pilot or being a journalist or being an academician or being an entrepreneur. Of course, all of these dreams also faded.

Growing up, I never quite dream that I would become a lawyer. But that is life - you end up doing things you don't always dream. Similarly, I never thought or dreamt that I would actually renovate or construct a house. It is, indeed, a backbreaking exercise (quite literally, as in my case, I ended up spraining my S-I joint). 

When the construction team calls you, while you are in court, and asks you whether you want round or square drain covers in the bathrooms and kitchen - you kind of lose it. The frustration is real. But thankfully, I had a great team to assist me in making these decisions and this post is dedicated to them. It is here that we must also acknowledge the frustration felt by your neighbours when you renovate your house. Theirs is a silent sacrifice. We must also acknowledge the support that you get from your friends, family, colleagues et al, who all accommodate you, fund you, and help you realise your dream. We all get by with a little help from our friends. "Thank you" to all of you.

Constructing a house is a deeply fulfilling and tiring experience. You learn so much about the various aspects of a house. For instance, I never knew that the omnipresent Kota stone is actually a limestone made of fossilised blue and green algae. The blue and green tinge is because it was (perhaps) once part of the Tethys Sea. I also did not know that if your water quality is good, you may not even need a RO machine. I also found out many incredible things about sanitary ware, electronics, woodwork, paint, lime work etc. It was a deeply humbling and enriching experience. Unfortunately, now, whenever I visit a restaurant or a monument or a hotel etc., I cannot help but notice the flooring, the colour schemes, the fabrics, the lighting etc. I guess, it will stay for sometime at least.

During this process, I realised that architecture has broadly three facets. This is, of course, my understanding of the matter and there is (probably) no theory backing it. 

The first aspect is functional. This is the base layer. If you are making a house, there have to be walls, proper wiring needs to be done, there have to be sufficient bathrooms, the TV viewing distance must be correct, the ACs need to be accurately placed, the planters must have sufficient depth, there should be sufficient lighting etc. This is the base structure or the machinery. The bare essentials and amenities. Here you deal with concrete, lime, bricks, pipework, wiring cables, copper wires etc.

The second layer in the architectural process is aesthetics. How do you make this machinery look beautiful? How do you make the house look pretty? Actually, the real question is – How do you make it look like a work of art? This is the most crucial work of an architect. It is here that she designs ceilings, flooring, wall colours, door designs, window grills, wardrobe exteriors, and even door handles! All this effort is geared towards making the house look pretty and pleasing to the eye. It should look curated, beautiful, and tied together. The house should tell a cohesive story. Most importantly, it should reflect the aesthetics of the residents.

The third aspect of architecture is the feeling of being in that space. Aesthetics ensure that the space becomes a work of art. But a work of art must evoke a feeling. A few months ago, I had read an article by the School of Life in which they said that it would be useful if architects could create “Spaces for Tenderness”, where one could contemplate maternal images and have the feeling of being swaddled (as we had been as infants). That made me realise that a well-designed space must evoke a feeling. It should feel like an experience and not just a beautiful space. The moment you see the Taj Mahal – you are stunned. The moment we enter a temple, we must feel the magnanimity of God. Similarly, spaces in our home, must evoke feelings in us. The bedroom should make us feel relaxed. The kitchen should tempt us to cook. The living area should feel like a community. A home is much like a ritual. It comforts us. For a brief moment in time, it makes us feel like we belong. That this is our space.

And yet we don’t belong to that space forever. Even though we “own” it, we are really tenants in this world. After we are gone, what is ours, becomes someone else’s. So we work very hard to create this wonderful space, but all the while, we should know at the back of our mind, that this too shall pass.

Beyond all this is the spiritual aspect of space. Of course, this is hardly the architect’s job. This falls on the shoulders of the householders. This is the toughest aspect. Swamiji once told us that a house is built to protect its occupants. The physical manifestation of this protection is from the elements i.e.: heat, cold, rain, thieves etc. But at a deeper level, we seek protection only when we feel different from the other. The feeling of the other creates the scope for fear. So long as there is another, there is a need for protection. Consequently, if you feel one with the other, then there is no fear, as what can one take from oneself? Therefore, the occupants of the house can truly feel protected only when they feel one with each other. In that sense, it is the householder’s duty to ensure that the house that s/he has constructed becomes a home for its residents. The householder must inculcate the feeling of oneness in his/her mind.

This reminds me of a Hymn from the Atharva Veda (Sukta 30, Kanda 3 - Love & Unity). Incidentally, I came across this Hymn way 6-7 years ago, while helping Swamiji with something. In fact, He had suggested that this Hymn is apt for a housewarming occasion. Here goes (from the translation of Dr. Tulsi Ram):




Whenever I read these verses, I feel extremely uplifted. Our forefathers had such an incredible vision for us! (And yet, where are we?)

The concept of looking for a house, also reminds of a portion from the Ramcharitmanas, where Tulsidas-ji beautifully expresses an exchange between Bhagwan Ram and Rishi Valmiki. Bhagwan Ram asks Rishi Valmiki – “Where should I stay?”. Interestingly, Rishi Valmiki asks Bhagwan Ram to reside in the hearts of His devotees and lists out the qualities of a true devotee. You can read the entire exchange here, along with the translation.

Today, we are constantly seeking and trying to be somewhere. There is a persistent unease. We are not settled. We don’t feel like we are at home. We hope that something or some experience or some person or some achievement will complete us. But in my limited 34 years, I doubt that these will ever complete us. So what will?

You will. If we inculcate the qualities listed by Rishi Valmiki or the feelings expressed in the above Hymn from the Atharva Veda, a lot of our worldly kalesh will end. As for the purpose of life type settlement, that will also come from You. After all, That Thou Art. During meditation, much of the world does not exist for you in that moment. It is You and your mind. In that deep state, there is a blissful silence. It is akin to the bliss of deep sleep, but it is something more. It is there that I feel calm. At ease. That is our true home. Because it is somewhere here that Bhagwan Ram is residing. The bliss we feel at that time is the bliss from communing with Him.

On that note, I hope that we all find our way Home.